I came back from city X to my apartment early yesterday morning after a week of working the inhuman 11pm-7am shifts in the emergency department the entire week.

Today morning, my cell phone alarm rang at 6:30am. I hit the snooze button. At 6:35am, it rang again. I hit the snooze button. There was another ring. I picked up my cell phone to hit the snooze button, only to realize that it was 6:39am and the ring was coming from my land line. I got out of bed. It was C. He called to ask if I was awake and to tell me that he was coming to pick me up at 8am.

We had planned this day for a whole week.

First, we went to the trail that C had discovered on campus a few weeks ago. The fresh, cool breeze was invigorating. There was no traffic on the roads and not a single person was in sight near the trail/wetlands. We closed our eyes for half a minute to focus on the sounds of nature. The chirping of different birds and other sounds of the wild animals communicating with one another were beautiful. We took a few pictures with C’s camera. C’s camera is poor. The only reason we used it was that I do not have a better camera. Actually, I don’t have a camera. We still manages to capture some good shots.

This worm (or is it a centipede?) was noted by C.

C & I took about a dozen pictures trying to capture a butterfly on the film and finally succeeded in getting one good image.

I collected some flowers for my flower album. C offered to hold two of the three. After the extremely difficult photo shoot of the butterflies which required a lot of agility and swiftness, we realized that the flowers in C’s hands had crumbled.

So, he threw them away.

Some berries that I dared C to eat. He was only brave enough to pluck.

C took this close up.

We were bitten by several bugs. Here’s one that didn’t bite us.

I spotted a right-angled triangle. C & I had a short discussion about which side is the perpendicular & which the base.

Just when C & I were admiring how some parts of the wetlands were untouched & unspoiled by human influence, we caught a glimpse of this bottle in the middle of the forest.

I tried to take a still of this white bird which C thinks is an egret, but between the moment I hit the click button and the moment the picture was taken, it flew all the way across the tiny lake.

This is not very clear, but you can spot the lizard camouflaged on the branch in the middle.

A camouflaged moth.

This was just the beginning of the day as we went to two more nature trails & state conservation areas. I have to go back to city X early tomorrow morning, so their accounts will be posted in the next couple of days.

C & I have had so many perfect, blissful moments together. I wish they last forever. All I know for now is that they are in this diary and in my heart.

“If you’re gonna do it, at least do it right!” – overheard a conversation between two people as I was jogging along the St. John’s river. Wonder if they were talking about me jogging in my hospital scrubs :|

There was not much going on in the trauma/resuscitation unit at the emergency department last night. I was working the 11pm-7am shift. I wonder how Batman can be so alert & energetic.

I was bored and so were the residents. They started discussing politics. One resident was opposed to universal health care because he was afraid that would decrease physicians’ salaries. Other residents were opposed to universal healthcare because they thought that it takes away the competition — if no one is going to make a profit off a new medication or new technology, funding for research will automatically decrease. They said that the United States is number one in discovery & innovation because there is a profit to be made. Take that away, and this country will lose its ranking. One resident was fiercely opposed to Obama’s plan of increasing taxes on people who make more than $250,000 a year from the current rate of 34% to 44%. “That’s about half of your income going straight to the government. How fair is that?” one resident said. Another remarked, “I worked so hard to get my MD, took out loans, and this is what I get for all my efforts? Half my income being taken away?” Someone proposed that everyone should be taxed the same percentage, no matter what their income. There was frustration & anger in the air and everyone agreed that $250,000 a year is not too much of an income if you consider loan repayments, home mortgage, health insurance, malpractice insurance, & college tuition for kids.

A nurse came by & asked if we would be interested in helping out in another area of the emergency department. We disbanded.

… is a warm glass of milk with Ovaltine. I want to go home, either to my own apartment or to be with the family. I hate these dorms. I don’t like the emergency department — it is so inhumane, no one talks to the patients, everyone is rushed, and I am catching a cold. Sniff!

I was woken up yesterday morning by a call from one of the residency program coordinators. I went back to sleep and was woken up by a call from Haiqa.

Haiqa: Yaar remember the X boy who rejected me…

I: Yes, what about him?

Haiqa: Well, he said he rejected by mistake… he sent me new email, wants to meet…

I: Are you going to meet him?

Haiqa: I don’t understand his e-mail. He said, “I am looking for a casual no-strings one-time/regular relationship.” I understand no-strings means no commitment, but what does “one-time slash regular” mean? I don’t get it! I e-mailed him back and asked him to explain

I: Yaar what’s not to understand? He is saying that he wants either a one-time relationship, or a regular relationship! He will meet one time and see if he wants to make it regular

Haiqa: Believe it or not, your explanation makes sense… I have been reading that e-mail all morning and I didn’t get it! Wow! So it means one-time OR regular!

[Later]

Haiqa: You were right on zee definition of one-time…

The seas of unity rose high, but not a heart was set right.
One attained union in the idol temple, while another remained reading in the mosque.
Scholars abandoned scholarship when they gambled the game of love.
The Lord is never found, Bahu, by those who do not risk everything.

– from death before dying: the Sufi poems of Sultan Bahu

As part of my emergency medicine clerkship, I had to work with the EMS today. I went to the Fire Rescue station & met the firemen — all resting in comfortable reclining chairs, watching baseball in a dark room. One of them, T, gave me a tour. He said that his father has a home health care business so he was exposed to the EMS a long time ago. He went through two years of training  to get his EMT license. He said that an EMT licensed in Florida can work in Georgia, not not vice versa, since Florida’s EMTs have a much better & more comprehensive training. He showed me the rooms where the firemen lived while working. They work 24 hour shifts. After one shift, they get 48  hours off. The rooms were like a hostel. Much like the dorms I am currently living in. There were showers, beds, lockers, treadmills, weights, and even the poles on which firemen could slide down in case of an emergency. T said that the pole is faster than the stairs. Seeing my interest, he said I could slide down. He told me to oull the pole toward myself, wrap one leg around it, keep the other leg straight,and slide down. I hesitated. He demonstrated. I still didn’t have the courage.

T showed me the fire truck and the EMS truck. The hoses had a woven exterior but their interior was lined with rubber. He said that whenever there is a fire involving people, the fire truck goes there first, closely followed by the EMS truck. I asked him about the worst thing he had ever seen on job. He said that two cases still horrify him, one of a five year old boy who was shot in the head, and the other of a two year old who was run over by a car. “What do you find more stressful, fire rescue or EMS?” I asked. “EMS! Definitely EMS!”

I got to ride the ambulance twice. The cases were not as dramatic as I had expected. One man was feelng dizzy after having a few beers, so one of his friends called 911. When we got there, we saw six or seven middle aged men, watching TV, drinking beer, and grilling something that smelled very good. All his vital signs and blood sugar were normal, so we asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, he refused, and we went to attend another 911 call. As we passed by my students dorms, the driver (called ‘engineer’) remarked, “You see these apartments, doc?” He pointed at the apartments next to the dorms. “These are the worst apartments in city X, lots of shootings, lots of crime!” This call was from a 20 year old pregnant woman for herself and her one year old child, both of whom had diarrhea and vomiting. Nothing life threatening or major, but they did not have transportation to the hospital, so we served as a cab and transported them one block up to the hospital.

I got my schedule for the emergency medicine clerkship today. No one is happy. My friend H works only one shift in six days so she is driving back to town tonight. My other friend E is working as many shifts as I am, except that this week I am scheduled to work 7am to 3pm while she works 3pm to 11pm! So I won’t see her at all! I don’t get a weekend off between the second and third weeks. What I get off is a random Tuesday.

My little cabin at the students dormatory is tiny. If I stretch both my arms, I can almost touch the opposite walls. I set the thermostat on 90 and still I feel like an icecube.

Tomorrow starts my emergency medicine clerkship in city X, an hour and a half drive away. I hate the ugly dorms there and I especially hate sharing the bathroom with others. Last year, at one point there was one bathroom for six females! Horror!

I am getting anxious about the future. A few months ago, I had decided to control my body language and appear relaxed. I forgot all about it until today when I started worrying about being alone in city X and about residency. I submitted the ERAS (electronic residency application system) last week. In three business days, I have had three interview offers. According to the dean Dr. D, my goal should be to secure at least ten interviews.

This weekend has been busy. I completed some minor chores and rested. I still have not finished packing for city X. I have to be there for four weeks. I will get my schedule tomorrow. I hope I get to spend 1-2 days a week at home. Haiqa was out of state for a few days for work. My car’s battery died on Friday. When I took it to TiresPlus Saturday morning, I was told to change two tires and the brake fluid. I called Haiqa to approve the expenditure of $$$. These types of things make me anxious about the future. When my car battery died, C was with me, he helped push my car, drove me, and we still managed to watch the presidential debate on time. Haiqa was there to advise me about the repairs and to assure me that I could/should spend as much money as was needed. Mom was there to listen to my concerns. How will I handle all these little stressors if I end up next year in a place several hours away from the family and C?

Allah mian, please bless all of us.

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” — Margaret Thatcher, read on someone’s signature on an onlne forum